How to get the best out of your family photos - Part 2
If you haven’t read Part 1, head over here and give it a read.
So you’ve booked your photos, you’ve read part 1 on how to get the best out of your family photos, and today’s the day.
Here’s some things you might need to know for DURING the session.
1. Keep touching. Don’t look at me!
Simple right?!
Except when someone pulls a camera out, we’ve been trained since we were kids to ‘look at the camera and smile’. Awkward right? Guess what? Now it’s time to untrain that part of our brain.
I want you to pretend I’m not there. Easier said than done when I don’t stop talking, but I want you to spend the session with your family. Not the camera. I want you to hold, touch, caress, reach out. I want you to look them in the eye instead of me.
I’ll let you know when I want you to look at me, all other times just assume I DON’T want you to look at me. And please don’t constantly tell you kids to look at the camera and smile!
And any time you’re not sure what to do with your hands reach out to a family member. Play with with their hair, tickle their little bellies, place your hand gently in the small of your partners back. Give them a wedgie! I just want you to connect with them.
Hold, caress, nudge, cuddle, hug, squeeze, tickle, reach out.
2. Take a step back from your kids and breathe
And I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I’d absolutely love if you can please back off a little from ordering your kids around. Just for our session.
I’m human, I’m a mum, and I have 2 strong-willed kids. So I know this advice is so much easier to say then to enact. You’re worried your kids are going to misbehave and not do as they’re asked. I get it. I’ve been there!! We’ve had our photos taken multiple times, and I’m possibly the worst at it.
I know kids aren’t always going to do what you ask. In fact, I’m pretty sure kids were put on this earth sometimes to do the exact opposite of what we ask. And you know what? That’s ok. And I’m not judging!
I’ve had a *little* bit of experience, and photographed hundreds of families. One thing I’ve learnt is that the more we ask, plead, and want them to do something, the more likely they are to dig their little heels in and refuse. If they’ve refused more than twice then we need to stop. Asking, bribing, guilting them or trying to cajole them in your nicest or meanest voice just isn’t going get them to do it. And if they do, it’s so forced, the photo is never going to show the love that you want it to.
The more they refuse, the more you get cranky, the more stressed everyone gets the less chance we have of capturing some photos that you’re going to love.
Have you ever had someone tell you your child was an absolute delight for them? And you question whether they’re talking about YOUR child? Surely they’ve been mistaken?
If I can ask that you stay quiet sometimes, and let me do the asking, you might be surprised. I’m an adult that’s NOT their parents, and sometimes they listen.
And sometimes they don’t. And that’s ok too.
Please don’t repeat exactly what I’ve said. Again and again and again. Please don’t try to guilt them into doing it.
My usual tactic is to stop, distract, move on to another activity and see if we can try again a bit later.
You’d be surprised at the tiny little moments that I do capture, the in-between moments of playing and interacting, the moments sandwiched between ‘can you give mum a hug’ and ‘can you see the booger up dad’s nose?’. And yep, I will use those prompts. And if your kid says ‘no’ to giving mum a hug, or has no interest in looking for dad’s booger, honestly, don’t stress. Don’t jump down their throats and order them to give mum a hug. They’re just little prompts that I use to get your family to interact, but it’s not that prompt that I’m trying to capture, it’s just you and you family. Interacting.
So let’s try a different way of interacting.
And for those of you with kids with additional needs, I totally get that you might just need to be the person that does the asking, not me. That’s cool. Just give me a heads up before the session so I know!
And if it all goes to sh*t, I’ll ask for help!!
3. Feed them!
Yep, I had this one in Part 1 - what to do before your session to prepare, but it’s here again.
Full bellies makes for happy humans (kids and adults alike).
BUT sugared up kids, makes for hyperactive and slightly out of control little humans.
So make sure everyone has had something to eat before the session, faces have been cleaned, and if you think it’s needed, pack some small snacks for the session.
Can I suggest that you don’t use food as a bribe if it can be helped. I’m more than ok to use it afterwards as a ‘yay, you did good during the session, here’s a chocolate bar for the car ride home/lets go for Maccas’. And I’m ok with needing to eat during a session, particularly if it’s at that tricky time of day, around sunset/dinner time/bed time. I do suggest you stick with something quick, easy and mess-free to eat, like a handful of Cheerios, or sultanas etc. And by all means bring along a small water bottle too.
However, using junk food as a bribe during a session can work against us. Really work against us. Kids are super smart little creatures, and they soon learn they need to misbehave in order to be bribed to do the right thing, in order to get the chocolate. Which can end in a vicious cycle of a hyped up kid doing the ‘wrong' thing to get rewarded with junk food…
I usually carry my (giant) camera backpack along to sessions, so if you’d like me to carry some stuff for you I’m more than ok with that. I’d honestly prefer to carry some of your stuff, then to have you carry a bag that we have to make sure isn’t in photos, put down every time we stop, pick up again when we move on.
Full bellies makes for happy little humans, remember to make sure everyone has has something to eat before the session!
4. Dress appropriately
Again, I touched on this in Part 1, but remember winter is cold. And windy. Spring can be hot. Or cold. Or windy. Summer is usually stinking hot. Some times it’s freezing. Autumn is hot, cold and everything else.
You may have the perfect outfit picked out, but if Mother Nature throws a curve ball, you may need to reassess. Bring along a jacket if needed, or switch from that cute long sleeved top to the short sleeved one. Throw in some beanies if the weather looks cold. Or take along a scarf. It can double up as a blanket to wrap around a small child if the wind picks up and freezes everyone’s bits off.
Again, I carry a huge backpack with an epic amount of ways to attach things to it. I’m more than happy to carry extra clothes if required!
And make sure you think about footwear. Booked for summer in a long grassy location? Those little sandals might be cute, but how are you going to go getting grass seeds sticking into your feet the whole time?
And make sure your kids are ok with their outfits too. I know, giving them an option can throw up some interesting outfits, but if they hate what they are wearing, they are going to let you know. And again, make sure their shoes fit comfortably, and are appropriate. See comment above re: grass seeds. It’s happened more than once that kids have ended up refusing to wear their shoes or end up having a tantrum because the grass keeps poking them.
5. Gaining *some* control over the little ones
Ok, so I know I wrote back on point 2 that I don’t want you to boss and lord over your kids. BUT if you have zero control over them at all, there is little chance that I will be able to get the photos you’ve booked me for.
If your kids absolutely refuse to listen, run away or make silly faces every single time I take a photo then we’re going to have a bit of a hard time. I’m not a magician and I can only photograph what is actually in front of my lens. Not 100m away down the side of the hill. I don’t own a shoot with a giant zoom lens and I can’t see through trees.
So, even though I said I don’t want to you boss them around, if you could have a quiet discussion with your kids before the session and let them know what the expectations are, just to give them a heads up, that would be super appreciated! And if they start running away or playing up so much so that I can’t take the photo, let’s stop, regroup, take a breather and try again.
Often a change of scenery can help. If we’re outside, let’s explore somewhere new, but I might need you to get in there and interact with your kids - at their level, to bring them back on board. If we’re at home, lets change rooms, or head outside, or bring out a game or book or toy they like. The art of distraction is a good one to have up our sleeve!
Sometimes they’ve honestly just had enough of being told what to do and we need to give them 5 or 10 minutes to just play. I put the camera down and we can just chat or walk for a little while. But failing that, this is when I might need you to step in and try to bring back some control.
